There are moments throughout my day that where I think to myself, "now, if you could only believe for yourself, what you are saying to this person--you'd be set". Intellectually, I get it--even perhaps on some emotional level, I know--otherwise I don't know that I would be able to impart it on my clients.
What was today's nugget or pearl of wisdom?
Live in the moment, and let go of the fear that [he] will walk away from you. Not everyone leaves and the evidence supports that said person is in it for the long hall. You don't need to push people away when things get hard or change. The people who matter and to whom you matter will be there.
A lot is changing/happening right now. Some is good...going back to school full time (I think--this changes moment by moment), but trying to balance this with work and relationships is a bit scary to me. Last time, I didn't do so well at this. And there are issues with family, that are not so good and consuming a lot of energy and space in my head. When these things happen, it impacts my sleep/dreams. Over the last few weeks, my dreams have involved the death of a parent and I am left alone to console the remaining spouse with my primary supports unavailable.
Fear of loss is big for me at the moment, first because of the physical and mental health concerns facing my family and also because of the changes for me personally that are underway spiritually, personally, and professionally. The relationships I have with people will change because of the increased demands of my academic work load, but I have to listen to what I said to my client, and have faith that they are built on a strong enough foundation to withstand these changes. These are not just fair weather people with whom if I am out of sight, I am out of mind.
I am excited (and nervous) to be moving ahead with this program--there are definitely pros and cons to it. Major pro, being it is the only feasible way for me to obtain a PsyD at this point in my life. But, I am aware that it may not be best program around--so struggling with the notion that it's "good enough"--that the qualities, skills, and experience I have will account for the programmatic weaknesses--and at the end of the day, my license will be the same as those from the other programs.
Still a work in progress.
progress not perfection.
