This is my free association exercise




Saturday, August 6, 2011

numb

Last night I started a post about the masks we wear and different roles we play. I was talking about my middle school drama teacher telling me that if I wanted to pursue it, I had talent.  If she only knew...


Tonight I feel numb.  Truth is, I have felt that way a lot lately.  I am very matter of fact and have been described as cold, detached.  Really what it is, it responding without emotion.  There have been a few times where it would have been totally appropriate to cry, where I'd even wanted to...and it's as though a switch is flipped, and nothing.  Now, I know what you are thinking...fear.  I know, I get it.

I said I no longer have expectations.

What do I want?

I need to come up with specifics.

Where to start? 

How do you quantify emotion?  Respect.  Equality

Tables have turned? This I have heard more than once.

I've shut down.  Tired and emotionally drained.  I need a vacation from my life.

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