port in the storm

I've had the content of this entry rolling around in my head for a while now.  And before I begin, let me start out by saying that I have been watching WAY too may holiday movies on the Hallmark channel the past few days (read:  overly emotional and sensitive).

I used to be a prolific writer--angst, angry, depressed.  And now, I probably should write more than I do.  Even as I sit here, I am staring at the screen--I can feel the block coming down on me--it actually happens frequently--posts, papers, even cards--the things swirling around that I would like to say, somehow get lost somewhere on their way onto the medium.

I've been thinking a lot about the ups and downs.  Saturday, I sat with a friend I haven't seen in years by a quiet ocean inlet, as she told me about the ending of her relationship.  A story, I must admit was hitting a little too close to home.  My decision to take her there after we grabbed lunch was rather selfish.  I needed the contrast of serenity before me to combat the storm brewing inside.

When I think about the "bad times" that come before us in life, I tend to visualize them like a hurricane.  Capable of leveling everything in it's path with the ocean swells, yet still some of the buildings remain and we survive.  When we are in the midst of a storm, it takes all we can to not get swept out to sea, as the waves crash down around us.  We've boarded up the windows and secured what we could, and now all we can do is wait it out--to see what remains afterward.   There are moments where the wind and rain let up just enough to allow us to run out and quickly check on the things we could not bring inside--to be sure they haven't blown away, and perhaps tie an extra rope around them or fill up another sandbag to keep them in place--because we will need them when it's over.

And sometimes, there are casualties from the storm.  Relationships who's foundations were not as strong, and therfore were swept away by the rip tides.  Others are damaged, but are not beyond repair.   Either way, the landscape is forever changed.