I'm feeling pretty worn out this week. I think I'm still recovering from the PA trip. There's lots of things rolling around in my head, but I don't know if I can put them into words.
Trying to be mindful--
Sitting on the couch, TV on in the background. Lori and Kate are talking. I feel a bit anxious. Chest heavy. Legs are sore--ankles really. Knees. That makes me think of group tomorrow. Hopefully everyone comes. I am wanting to get into the groove with it. My leg just spasmed. Been doing that lately. I might be getting sick. Sometimes I cough and my throat is scratchy. Could be allergies, right?
It was good to spend time with Jen yesterday. Fill her in on things. Get some perspective, validation, support. Feel like I unloaded a bunch of shit on her. Still not feeling quite right about it...but she asked some good questions. Things I am still rolling around in my mind. Wants vs needs...what is realistic?
I'm irritated. They are being crass and filthy. Just not in the mood for it. They know it too...joking about it from the other room. What's my problem, why am I being weird?
Sigh.
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