To the exes

Rarely, we say thank you 

To the ones that touched—

Nearly broke

and deeply hurt to the core.  

Through those loves lost—

anguish and broken hearts.  

Friends and lovers gone;

I’m becoming 

The best version of myself. 

Moving on

I drove past my old house yesterday.  It was impulsive--I was out running errands and debating what to get people for Christmas--I was about to pass by the street--the next thing I knew, I was going past the house.  There was a momentary pang of pain--the house looks essentially the same as when I left it over two years ago.  As I turned onto the next street, the emotion subsided.  I was reminded that I am far from the person I was when I last drove away, two years prior.

"Life before God is not worth holding onto…the past will not be different"--Boundaries


Our past never changes (though our memories and meanings of it may)--the events are static.  Yet, it is our relationships today, with God, and others that shape what tomorrow will be.

"Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith and the trust will follow"--Man of Steal

I am beginning to trust in myself through faith that there is a plan for me.  This has had a profound impact on my mental, emotional, and spiritual states of late.  When I become anxious (because lets be real, that still happens regularly), I ask for the strength to see it through--not for it to be taken away.  I realize that there is a reason I am experiencing these feelings in the moment, and I must sit with them to understand why.  This actually decreases the intensity of the feelings (which totally makes sense on multiple levels).

I still have a ways to go to get where I would like to be, and I also know that for today I am right where I am supposed to be.