Sufi Wisdom

I've been quiet lately.


Normally, this would probably be a bad thing.  But, truth--I'm doing pretty well.  At work today, a ct commented that I seemed like I was in a really good mood, hyper almost.  And I was in a good mood.  Zachariah said something at lunch a few minutes before, that really made me think...

Sufi Islam and Buddhism agree that much of the reason for one's unhappiness, is when the world fails to meet our expectations.

I spend my days talking with people about their expectations, encouraging them to examine these ideals and challenge them.  You know, all that CBT stuff.  But what about my own ideals?  Are my expectations realistic?  Of myself?  Of others?

No. 

The expectations I have of others, tend to be very low.  Unless, of course you are in the inner circle.  On the surface level, I really don't expect much of anyone, aside from basic respect for one another.  To do the best you can in the moment.  And sometimes that expectation is not upheld.

For those who are closest, the expectations are high. But perhaps that is why there are so few who have made it inside, and even fewer who have stayed.  I'm not sure I can even verbalize what these standards are exactly, just something of a code.  Respect, trust, comfort, honesty, genuine. 

Of myself.  Perfection.  Impossible to achieve, yet I try.  To be the best friend, partner, sister, daughter, employee, insert label here.  Yet I try, while still upholding the same characteristics named above.

What happens to our happiness if we are constantly failing our own expectations?


Whatever you have in your mind - forget it;
Whatever you have in your hand - give it;
Whatever is to be your fate - face it! Abu Sa’id (Essential Sufism)

Perhaps my fate, at this point in my life, is to challenge these expectations I have of myself and those closest to me, and follow my own advice.  Face it, push myself (with a bit of help) to examine the parts of myself, that I have been avoiding for too long.  In order to become truly happy, I must adjust these ideals, so not to set myself up for failure.

And this is where I am.  Looking in the mirror.