Coming up for air...

Breathing easier in the last few days.  Feeling like I have made progress in my search for meaning.  Yes, that's right meaning.  Family has always been of utmost importance to me.  So, to feel like I had none...total devastation and despair.  But, not in the 'are you okay?'--pink piece of paper--kind of way, but more in the 'what the hell do I do now, where do I go from here' kind of way.

What I do now, is notice and move on.  There is no where to go but up.  I create my own family, as I did once before.  But this time I am more selective in it's members.  I was reminded over the last week that there are still people who love and care for me, even though we are not connected by blood.  You know the ones, the ones that you can call at 2am and they'll be there for you, no matter what.  And I would do the same for them.  So I am okay.

2011 will be the year for new beginnings, new traditions, and new memories.  I have to let go of past expectations and live in the moment.  Granted, there will be times when I will get stuck, but I am human and that is part of my process.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love


(excerpt -seasons of love-)

I made these.  The necklace says "strength" and "discipline" and the bracelet "serenity".  Physical reminders of what I need to do to more forward.  I think I will add serenity to my tattoo at the base of my neck.  Or balance, perhaps?  Who wants to come?

Serenity.