Letting Go

I have to forgive you
for things done and will never be
emotions long since buried and gone
resurface with a force
not to have expected.

I have to let go
of the ideal
I thought
I had.

You are not the person
I need you to be.

My expectations of you
too high to be upheld.
Another statistic.

Your anger and pain
too embedded in your soul
your "misery",
needing to be washed away.

Guilt, shame, embarrassment
shake me to the core.
I hide you from view.

Pride vanished in an instant.
The foundation crumbled
as my suspicions were confirmed.

Anger has been replaced
with sadness and grief
as I move forward without you.
Unwilling to carry
your weight once more.

Words said years ago replay in my mind
promises broken, trust lost.
Scars reopen into fresh wounds
As those same sentiments are repeated.

I am older now, wiser
no longer held to the roles
played in youth.

I cannot expect you to understand
so of course you lash out
the rules have changed.
You are no longer the leader.


Lessons taught,
not soon to be forgotten.
I follow a different path.

I let go.